The Most Natural Product Ever

Posted by: Emily
True story.
(I don’t know why I’m telling it to you– it doesn’t paint me in the best light– but if it is useful to you, then I’ve done my job.)
Last week, I had the opportunity to participate in a focus group. I love focus groups. If I could be a professional focus group participant for a living, I would do it. I love giving my opinion; you may have noticed that by reading this blog! I love trying new things and telling people what I think about them. I love being an expert for a few hours or so and imagining the execs behind the 2-way mirror taking notes on my feedback. (Lest you be confused, focus groups utilize the 2-way mirror; I have never been to jail.)
So, last Thursday, to be exact, I was asked to be in a focus group. The group was meeting in midtown– ah, lovely midtown!– after work, so upon leaving my office, I had to grab a quick dinner on my way. The pickings were slim, and I was low on time, so I went for a slice of pizza. To make myself feel better about this choice, I had spinach pizza– there was probably a whole garden’s worth of spinach crammed on top of this one slice of pizza, and it was delicious as I scarfed it down on the subway. The dinner of champions.
As I exited the subway, I had a feeling there might be some spinach in my teeth– I could kind of feel it in between some incisors (those are a kind of teeth, right?) so I pulled out my cute Shiseido pocket mirror (their products may be chemical-laden, but I will never give up this cute mirror) and checked my teeth. Wow– there was so much spinach there! Practically any place there could have been some, there was spinach. And the thing about a focus group is that– forget those ad execs behind the 2-way mirror– you’re at a table with 8 or 10 other people, talking for 2 hours, while everyone is looking at one another, in pretty good lighting, I must add, and the last thing you want is to have really obvious spinach in your teeth in that situation. I tried to suck it out of my teeth, but with no success.
I was panicked. I was entering the lobby of the building where the focus group was to take place, and while I knew they’d have a bathroom upstairs, I don’t carry dental floss around with me, so I realized I was totally stuck! What to do?…
And then, it hit me.
On my person, at all times, I have an incredibly natural beauty product. And it works darn well as floss. It’s my hair.
Before you judge me, and you know you are, think about it: My hair is created from my body, in which I, this pizza aside, put mostly organic, natural food. And then I wash and condition this hair with all-natural products. So what could be more natural?
Luckily, I have been blessed with thick, strong hair, and, FYI, this definitely requires long-ish strands, so I pulled one from my scalp, used the mirror inside the elevator, and, ta-da, the spinach was all gone from my teeth by the time we reached the 11th floor! And yes, when I say “we,” there were other people with me in the elevator when I did this hair-as-floss-trick. So sue me. Is that so wrong? Yeah, that’s kind of gross, and I definitely advise you to do this in the privacy of a restroom, should you ever be in a similar predicament, but it worked in a pinch, and I am kind of proud of myself for my quick thinking.
You may be shaking your head now. You think you’d never stoop to using your hair as dental floss. But just you wait; next time you’re on your way to some important meeting and you’ve just eaten something stringy and green, be glad you’re taking good care of your hair. You never know when it might actually start earning its keep.

See, it's important to always check your teeth in the mirror! (Me on the set of the webseries "Chaos Theory")


Filed under Natural Beauty Tips, Surprisingly Good Cheap Green Find of the Day

6 responses to “The Most Natural Product Ever

  1. Emily! You are an “eco-survivor”! I date myself to say that “MacGyver” would be proud! Leaves me wondering how my super curly hair would perform in such a situation…:)

    • Hi Tiffany! Thanks so much 🙂 I have curly hair as well, and I think it’s even better than straight, as it tends to be nice and thick and flat like floss 🙂 How are things at LTB? I am such a huge fan!! Jordan and I are going to come visit you there sometime… –Emily

  2. i have super thick, coarse hair and have used it as floss SEVERAL times in the past. honestly. one time i used it at my desk at the office and it worked and yea, sue me for doing THAT, but i didn’t mind much when my next door desk neighbor was clipping their finger nails….great blog!!

    • Jordan

      Ew!! I hate it when people clip their nails at their desk!!!! So nasty, and I definitely know one person in particular who did this at our office, Elena!

      Emily, this post was hilarious, and I’ve been known to do this in a pinch, too. Although my hair is fine so I may ask to borrow a thick strand of yours next time–haha!

  3. actorsdiet

    i’ve totally done this before – i think i saw it in YM when i was a teenager!!!

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