Posted by: Jordan
To say I’m clumsy is an understatement. My husband seriously thinks I should consider taking a Buddhist Walking Meditation class. For example, let’s take the grape incident. The other day I was in the kitchen at work and my foot happened to find the one little grape in the whole room. Just like in a cartoon where the character doesn’t see the big yellow banana peel right in front of him and his legs fly up in the air and winds up on his back. Then there was the kitchen bar stool incident when I was talking to my husband while he was cooking, and I pulled my legs up to sit on them (not a good idea when you’re balancing on a stool, in retrospect). All of the sudden I lost my balance and because I was sitting on my legs, I ended up face down on the floor. And I hadn’t even been drinking…I’m just soberly clumsy! My life revolves around stories just like these.
Back in August I went to Miami for one of my best friend’s bachelorette party. We were staying at the posh Gansevoort Hotel, where the rooftop pool is more like a daytime version of a nightclub than a place to sweat through your organic suntan lotion. Well, wouldn’t you know it, about 4 days before the weekend festivities began, the corner of a desk jumped right out in front of me, leaving me with a battle wound on my thigh–purple, and the size of a baseball. Not posh. Not Gansevoort Rooftop Pool approved.
I immediately researched natural ways to get rid of a bruise quickly. I ran across several interesting home remedies, but I kept seeing Arnica mentioned. What did I have to lose, except a giant black welt on my leg? I ran (carefully, Buddhist meditatively) over to Whole Foods and picked up Arniflora Arnica Gel, a homeopathic clear, odorless gel. Arnica is also known as a few other glamorous names, such as Leopard’s Bane, Mountain Tobacco, Sneezewort, and more recently, “my new best friend” because this stuff worked miracles on that nasty pre-Miami bruise! After about 5 days the bruise was completely gone. Record time for me, especially with a bruise that gnarly! The trick is to apply the gel 3-4 times a day, and massage the bruise lightly while applying the gel or cream. The gentle massage makes the pooled blood under the skin redistribute quicker, and the Arnica helps by stimulating the activity of white blood cells, thereby contributing to the unpooling of blood and alleviating swelling. And Dr. Oz is a fan of Arnica so, really, do you need to know more? Go out and get yourself a tube right now–bruises be gone!! Just watch out for those tricky banana peels.